A. R. Rahman, the legendary music maestro, has announced his divorce from wife Saira Banu after nearly three decades of marriage. The news stunned fans and the entertainment industry as the couple cited emotional strain in their relationship as the reason for the split.
While such moments are deeply personal and difficult, they also point to the importance of going through a divorce with dignity and mutual respect. Separation should not be synonymous with bitterness; with the right approach, you can end the relationship on a graceful note. (Also read: Are you in love? Research says it can light up your brain )
Michael Hakimi, a mental health professional with more than 35 years of experience at Loyola University Health System, offers a unique perspective on divorce. Michael, having survived his separation after 20 years of marriage while maintaining a good friendship with his ex-wife, emphasizes the importance of an amicable divorce.
Tips for ending a divorce on a good note
He shares nine insightful tips to help couples break up amicably, proving that divorce doesn’t always have to lead to animosity.
1. Try to speak calmly, clearly and rationally and take responsibility for your own actions.
2. Avoid blaming, pointing fingers, or rehashing past problems in your relationship.
3. When discussing sensitive topics, choose a neutral public place, such as a cafe or restaurant, where both parties are likely to behave appropriately. Refrain from drinking alcohol during such discussions.
4. Do not use resentment as a tool to attack your partner. Instead, work through these emotions constructively through therapy.
5. Never talk negatively about each other or discuss marital problems in front of children. Reassure them of your love and emphasize that they are not to blame for the divorce. If necessary, seek therapy to help them cope.
6. Even if your husband becomes emotional, stay in control of your behavior and reactions. Keeping calm can help defuse the situation.
7. If something you say or do upsets your spouse, try to apologize and offer to come back to the conversation later when the emotions have calmed down.
8. Consult a qualified marriage therapist to support you through the process. A licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT) or licensed clinical social worker (LCSW) with good qualifications can be especially helpful.
9. If disagreements arise over issues such as alimony, property division, or taxes, consider hiring a divorce mediator to help you reach a fair settlement. Study their qualifications and reviews and choose the one that suits you both.
Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice.
