Celebrities are not only a source of inspiration for many, but their fans and followers are also very curious to know what is happening in their personal and professional lives. Whether it’s new love or trouble in paradise, people want to know everything. Over the years, many popular famous couples not only got married, but also broke up for various reasons – infidelity or falling out of love. It is often said that the seven-year itch is real in marriage. For the uninitiated, the Cambridge Dictionary describes this common phrase as: “a married person suffering from the seven-year itch feels dissatisfied with their marriage after seven years and is considering having sex with another person.” And this often leads to separation and divorce. However, recently, many famous couples seem to be breaking up after decades of being together, and the news of their divorce often comes as a shock to many. For example, billionaire philanthropist Bill Gates and Melinda French Gates shocked people around the world in 2021 when they officially announced their divorce after 27 years of marriage.
Founder of Amazon Jeff Bezos was married to Mackenzie Scottnovelist, for nearly 25 years before they divorced in 2019. Their divorce was one of the most expensive with a settlement of a whopping $38 million.
In India too, many couples break up after a few years of marriage: a cricketer Ravi Shastri and his wifeRitu Singh divorced in 2012 after 22 years of marriage; Malaika Arora and Arbaaz Khan were married for 18 years before divorcing; A. R. Rahman and Saira Banu were married for 29 years and announced their separation this month; and more recently, Aishwarya Rajinikanth and Dhanush got a divorce after 18 years of marriage.
Often called gray divorceas these couples split up after decades of being together and having a joint family, it seems quite shocking and painful not only for them and their close relatives but also for their friends and fans.
A gray divorce occurs when a couple divorces after a long marriage or when they are 50 or older. This phenomenon has been getting bigger lately and the term is being used more and more in celebrity circles and social media. In this scenario, the couple is often referred to as the “Silversmiths”
Dr. Kausar Sheik, consultant psychologist at Fernandes Hospital, told us.
Most recently, there were rumors that former Miss World and actress Aishwarya Rai and actor Abhishek Bachchan are parting ways after more than 15 years of marriage. While Aishwarya and Abhishek, along with their families, have refrained from commenting on the matter, netizens speculated on various reasons pointing to their split: Aishwarya and her daughter Aaradhya arrived separately and did not pose with the family Bachchan for the paparazzi at Anant and Radhika Ambani’s Wedding this July; rumors of Abhishek dating fellow actress Nimrat Kaur,” or Aishwarya dropping “Bachchan” from her last name and officially only being called Aishwarya Rai.
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It is often believed that after spending years together, couples will know each other well, thus having a strong bond. However, with the rise of gray divorces, it seems that this is not always the case. And so we asked Dr. Kausar Shaik about the reasons for gray divorces, to which she replied, “Couples stay together for a long time and may have different reasons for doing so. However, it is important to understand that at least one of these seemingly ‘happy’ couples may be unhappy in their marriages, eventually their changing needs, growing disagreements or unfulfilled expectations push them apart.”
Elaborating further, she said: “Although the reasons for gray divorce will vary from one couple to another, some common points that are seen in couples include:
1. Financial independence
In the current socio-economic environment, an increasing number of women are financially independent and secure. Thus, financial dependence on a partner is no longer a reason to stay in an unhappy marriage.
2. An empty nest
Many couples decide to stay together for the sake of children. Divorce becomes relatively easy when children grow up and start independent lives away from their parents.
3. Changing expectations
Our expectations of marriage have changed as a society. There is a greater need for shared happiness and satisfaction and less motivation to tolerate and adjust to marital difficulties.
4. Infidelity
It’s a simple matter. In such situations, it is difficult to stay married.
5. Increase in life expectancy
With increasing longevity, many are looking ahead to their remaining years and want to start over and seek a better life.”
But if the wedding is pink, then the divorce is sad and painful. Especially if you are a celebrity whose life events are watched and judged by hundreds of people.
There are many stages of grief. It’s sad that something is coming to an end. It opens you up in a way – opens you up to the senses. When you try to avoid pain, it creates more pain. I am a person, I have a human experience in front of the world. I wish it wasn’t in front of the world. I’m trying really hard to rise above it
Hollywood actress Jennifer Aniston said in one of her first interviews in 2005 after breaking up with Brad Pitt.
And gray divorce can be harder to overcome – not only for the two people involved, but also for their children and families.
Separation is a difficult stage to go through. This is associated with several problems, and it can take a toll on emotional and physical well-being. Sadness, anger, loneliness and hopelessness can be natural consequences and it is important to address them
said Dr. Kausar Shaik
American writer Rita Mae Brown once said, “Divorce is the only human tragedy that boils down to money,” and sadly, it’s true. And so: “Once you’ve decided to divorce, you need to think about securing your finances, getting clarity on property division, and understanding the legal implications,” said Dr. Kausar Shaik. “A gray divorce will also bring changes in family dynamics. You have to be ready to deal with your children and how they will perceive these changes,” she added.
Whatever the reason for a couple separating after years of being together, a person involved in a gray divorce should understand that the end of a marriage is not the end of the world. The most important thing is how they come back to life. As the writer J.K. Rowling once said: “And so the bottom became a solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.”
Adding to this and talking about how one can deal with loneliness after or during a gray divorce, Dr. Kausar Sheikh said, “When a person is going through the grief of separation, it is necessary to seek help. Loneliness is not a good feeling.So one has to find ways to overcome it, be it meeting old friends, making new ones, moving closer to family/relatives if possible, taking up hobbies, learning new skills, adopting new ones professional projects or remembering to move on with your life.’
But what if you are the one whose parents are “silversmiths”? What should you do?
Know that you don’t have to take sides. Take care of your feelings, seek support and give yourself time to accept what has happened
Dr. Kausar Sheik replied.
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