Infidelity is usually the last coffin in a relationship – be it a friendship or a relationship. Trust is the foundation of any relationship, so when that is broken, everything falls apart. In general, and even in previous studies, betrayal makes people less trustworthy.
But new research from the University of California, Los Angeles and Oklahoma State University, published in the Journal of the Evolution of Human Behavior, offers a new perspective on betrayal and trust, challenging previous understanding. The find is even surprising. According to this study, cheating can be tolerated, and the person who cheats may not be seen as less trustworthy if it benefits the person who judges them.
Cheating is okay when…
Explaining the concept, study co-author and UCLA psychology professor Jamie Krems said, “Of course, when someone cheats on other people, that can be a valuable clue that they might be cheating on me—but not always. For example, think of that friend who always tells you other friends’ secrets but won’t share yours. This friend betrays other people, but enriches you with information.’
Even if a person has previously betrayed others, they still trust him. This shows the other person’s self-interest, as the traitor is still considered acceptable if his actions benefit him.
The study experimented with different settings and found that it applied to different kinds of relationships – friendships, romantic relationships, and even professional relationships. Whenever the betrayal benefited the research participant, the level of trust did not fluctuate.
This suggests that self-interest is involved in this dynamic.
Selfishness makes betrayals tolerable
After all, thinking “what’s in it for me” can make any terrible situation attractive. Selfishness is what sets betrayals apart. Therefore, people will not judge others if they have previously betrayed others.
Researchers emphasize how betrayal occurs in the context of a person’s own needs and desires. Self-interest plays a big role in understanding how a person perceives betrayal.
