Siblings often ask their parents who they love more, to which they reply that they love everyone equally. Even siblings can quarrel over this, pull each other’s legs with stupid jokes “taken from the dump” out of humorous anger. A study published in the Psychological Bulletin has shown that parental favoritism does exist, revealing surprising insights into how birth order, gender and personality influence parents’ behavior towards them, sometimes even unconsciously.
Grounds for favoritism
The study found grounds for favoritism based on birth order, gender and personality.
In terms of birth order, the study found that younger siblings often receive more favorable treatment, while older siblings tend to enjoy more autonomy and less parental control as they grow older.
Second, due to gender favoritism, fathers favor their daughters slightly more than their sons. Although children do not know it, even parents can notice these biases.
And finally, in personality-oriented favoritism, children who are agreeable and responsible are often preferred. They are more cooperative, agreeable, and easy to get along with, and as a result, it is easier for parents to develop more relationships with them and treat them favorably.
All these patterns help parents connect with their children more easily than with others.
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Understanding individual needs
The author of the study, Alex Jensen, noted how childhood relationships shape a person. The study also highlighted the importance of parents addressing their children’s sense of unfairness when it comes to favoritism. If a child shows favoritism, it may mean that he needs more understanding or that changes in parenting are needed. Otherwise, if it is not explained, it can be harmful to their mental health.
Parents insist on treating each child equally, but each person has unique strengths and uniqueness that require a different approach. Instead of treating all children the same, parents should focus on their individual needs, such as taking into account each child’s personality, interests, and emotional needs. By doing this, parents can help each child feel valued and supported.
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