Suzanne Mutesi, a 38-year-old actor and writer, says she has been on more than 1,000 dates in eight years and is “obsessed” with finding her “fairytale ending”. Living between Sydney and London, Susan had two serious long-term relationships in her twenties, but has struggled to find love ever since.
Now in her 30s, Susan said she has gone on more than 1,000 dates, often using them as an alternative to cooking dinner. Her dates have become so routine that she created an automated rejection email to politely inform her dates that “it didn’t work out” and thank them for their time. (Also read: Is your partner always negative? 8 tips from a therapist on how to cope and know when to walk away )
Actor Susan Mutesi spends 8 years on 1000+ dates
Susan admits she has high standards when it comes to partners, revealing that one ex even gave her allowance and a private car so she never had to rely on public transport. However, her dating adventures were not without drama. She recalls a series of disastrous encounters, including Romeo jumping into a lake during a picnic, another who accidentally set his kitchen on fire, and one who shockingly asked another woman out expecting a threesome.
Despite setbacks and even being told to “give up” by her family, Susan remains hopeful, putting as much energy into dating as she does into her career. She is optimistic that 2025 will be the year she finds “the one.” “I love romantic movies because I want the whole fairy tale — I believe in that kind of love,” she told PA Real Life. “I haven’t given up on finding true love, and I hope it won’t give up on me either.”
Susan shared that her free time revolves around her pursuit of romance. “When I’m not on a date, using apps, taking new profile pictures, or watching a rom-com, you’ll probably find me hanging out with friends and our conversations centering on our last dates,” she said. “Even in the gym I work out to my favorite love songs. To be honest, most of my free time is spent on dating apps.”
In her twenties, Susan had two long-term relationships. Her first, which lasted four years, was with a man in his thirties who gave her money and a private car. At the age of 27, she entered into another three-year relationship, but realized that it was not meant to be. Since then, she has been looking for “the one” and has gone on more than 1,000 dates in eight years.
“I knew love was out there, and I wasn’t going to find it sitting at home in my pajamas — I had to go out and get it,” Susan said. By the time she was in her thirties, she was going on an average of at least three dates a week, often going out for dinner simply because she “didn’t feel like cooking.” Her pace has slowed down a bit these days, and she usually goes on at least one date a week.
Susan relies on dating apps like Bumble and Hinge, but she’s also open to meeting someone organically. Keen to make a great impression, she makes sure she always looks her best when she goes out – never skipping a make-up or opting for ‘comfortable trousers’ – in her constant quest to find Mr Right.
Over the years, Suzanne has had many memorable encounters, both good and bad. In 2021, she went on what seemed like a promising date, but it took an unexpected turn when a man asked another woman out, hoping for a threesome. “I had to get out of there real quick — I don’t know why he thought I was up to it,” Susan shared.
That same year, she went on a romantic picnic in Hyde Park with someone she met on a dating app, but things quickly changed. “The ducks saw the food and came close…he started chasing them and ended up in the water,” she laughed. “It was fun; I just couldn’t stop laughing… but then he couldn’t get out, so I literally had to jump in and help him.”
“I was so bummed – it ruined my designer dress. I never saw him again,” said Susan, reflecting on the Hyde Park debacle. There was another date in 2023 when a man tried to impress her by cooking dinner, but ended up setting the pan on fire. “His ashen face and offer to buy pizza instead did little to win me over,” recalls Susan. “I was not impressed. The fact that he offered me carbs when I should have stayed too didn’t help.’ To deal with disappointments, Susan even set up an automatic rejection message when things don’t go as planned.
“I never like to waste time,” Susan said, explaining that she uses an automated e-mail to politely decline dates she finds unpleasant: “Thanks, but it didn’t work out.” One of her best dates was in Sydney where she enjoyed a private dinner on the beach prepared by a personal chef. However, her longest relationship after her 30th birthday lasted just three months. While her loved ones support her, some family members joke that she should “give up.” Still, Susan remains optimistic, looking for “old-school romance” and someone to make her “even happier” than she is on her own.
Susan admits that dating sometimes feels like “a full-time job” and she feels “frustrated” when a date isn’t on the calendar. She puts as much effort into dating as she does into her career, believing that effort pays off.
Hoping to inspire other women in their thirties, Susan encourages them to embrace their own unique journeys to love. She even wrote a book, Love After 30, about her experience. Finding true love remains her goal for 2025, and she plans to continue dating through apps and in person. “I want my fairy tale ending,” says Susan, “I’m obsessed with the idea!”
