Are you excited to send a message that you had a good date? And worried you might seem too clingy by shaming them? You are not alone.
Relationships sometimes seem capricious. Sure, there are sweet, sweet moments, but there are also unspoken boundaries to be aware of, and even the best people wonder how far is too far. Trapped in this dilemma of what is clingy, desperate, and what is not, people often hold back, leaving a gap in expressing their true feelings.
At what point should we draw the line? What behaviors are serious “fun” and what are not? These questions are common in relationships, and although one can be careful, such judgments can sometimes hold back the true expression of love. And before you know it, you’ll regret not taking the initiative. Sometimes balancing showing genuine love while keeping the judgments of them looking “desperate” at bay can feel like you’re swimming in murky waters.
Jawal Bhatt, a relationship coach, as described in his Instagram bio, breaks down common behaviors and separates what’s considered hurtful from what isn’t.
Habits that are NOT clingy or desperate
- If you text or call them first.
- If you share your feelings with the first.
- If you show your care and love.
- If you are a giver and make an effort.
- If you are consistent.
- If you are interested in knowing them.
- If you spare a little time (for them) daily.
- If you ask them to meet offline.
The effort is never clingy or desperate. As the relationship coach shared, the above habits may seem clingy, like playing with fire or going the extra mile, but they’re actually healthy ways to keep a potential connection going. Never be afraid to connect with true intentions. All the habits listed by the relationship coach are about getting to know each other and getting the ball rolling.
If both parties are gripped by the fear of judgment, then the relationship can also come to an impasse.
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Habits that are clingy and desperate:
- When you text all the time and they don’t text you back.
- If you constantly approach them all day without having a routine.
- If you continue to approach them even after they say no, ignoring what their actions clearly say.
- If you ask them a few times, they say, “I don’t know, we’ll see.”
- When you keep talking and they only answer but don’t ask you any questions. They are not interested in knowing you.
A relationship coach mentioned the points listed above as serious red flags — habits that are undoubtedly clingy and desperate. If the limit is already set, don’t close your eyes and keep pressing. It is important to respect boundaries and pick up signals that indicate a lack of interest in the relationship, as it would be futile to continue it. Repeatedly demanding an answer when they express uncertainty or continuing a one-way conversation without mutual curiosity indicates an unhealthy attachment.
Early relationships are all about curiosity. But if the curiosity is one-sided, don’t pursue it.
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Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice.
