Death is unpredictable and inevitable, especially for a life cut too young, leaving dreams and aspirations unfulfilled, making it all the more painful for friends and family. Managing grief becomes all the more important. In an interview with HT, Dr. Rajiv Mehta, vice-chairman of psychiatry at Sir Ganga Ram Hospital, explained how to manage grief.
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Understanding grief
Grief is difficult to handle and can feel overwhelming. Dr. Rajiv Mehta explained the 5 stages of grief. He elaborated: “Grief is divided into 5 stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Denial means that the person denies the loss and believes it to be false. Anger is a reaction to feeling guilty or blaming the deceased for failing to provide adequate care that led to the death. Trading is doing or sacrificing something to bring back the deceased. Depressive feelings arise and eventually one accepts reality in order to move on. These stages may vary or overlap from person to person.’
Grief is a deeply personal experience that varies greatly from person to person. Dr. Mehta added, “The intensity of grief also depends on the manner of the loss, the age of the deceased and the person grieving, the degree of attachment to the bereaved and the support system available. Grieving the sudden death of a relative or friend at a young age can be difficult, and there are many difficulties in coming to terms with the shocking reality. Violent denial, clinical anxiety depression, and attempts at self-harm are more likely. The bereavement process can take longer to settle, or many times, the emptiness is felt throughout life, especially around festivals and anniversaries.’
How to cope
Coping with grief, especially in the case of a shocking, sudden death at a young age, takes time. Dr. Mehta outlined the steps involved in processing this difficult experience.
1. Accept your feelings. Humans cannot be robots; there is nothing wrong with being sad, angry after a loss. Accepting one’s own feelings as a natural human reaction accelerates the process of normalization.
2. Crying is very important in the first few days. Visiting memory lane is crucial, talking and sharing about the nature of the relationship with the person lost is a vital part of stabilizing grief. Rejoicing and rejoicing in memories of the deceased is natural.
3. it is very important to realize that the deceased was a part of life, but there are other necessary things. Therefore, performing routine duties and taking care of one’s health are important in coping with grief. Even if it’s undesirable, it’s worth making an effort to eat, sleep, and take care of yourself. Helping other related individuals to grieve at the same time helps to overcome grief more quickly.
If grief is still bothering you or getting worse, it’s best to see a mental health professional.
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