NEW YORK — We modestly survived the year 2024. We played passenger princess. We have baked enough leaven to cover the world with our bubbles. We predicted it and spun it. All this.
There’s a lot to leave behind on New Year’s Eve. Here’s the tiny tip of the iceberg of what we’ve finished as we move toward 2025.
TikToker Jools Lebron’s 38-second video describes her daily makeup as “Very modest. Very carefully” ignited the summer with memes. The video has been viewed more than 50 million times.
With her newfound fame, LeBron, a transgender woman, was able to cash in on her transition, help her family, land a few brand deals, and make a big statement about staying positive. In another video, she made the world “very cute.”
Love you Jules! But here’s the thing you meme makers: summer is over. We are looking at you, “brat” enthusiasts. The summery slimy green of it all and the Charli XCX-Kamala Harris moment was great! We know you’ll keep it low-key as you move on to the next big thing.
As for all those dogs and cats pouncing on video over President Donald Trump’s Haitian immigrant rant? Happy 2025 to you, Springfield, Ohio.
Speaking of low-key but no longer cute, in the name of all that is holy feminism, passenger princesses should step down.
A passenger princess, according to Urban Dictionary, is “a pretty girl who has no other job than to look pretty in the passenger seat while her sleazy link/boyfriend/significant other drives.” What is a sneaky link you may ask? This is a secret connection. For sex.
Passenger princesses decorate the sides of the front seats with small balls in the air vent. They pack snacks on little trays that fit on top of their Stanley cups. They bring cozy blankets, replace visored mirrors with fancy lighted ones, and generally dominate by requiring their men to place one hand on the nearest leg.
The term has been around since at least 2020, when a Twitter user referred to his dog as the passenger princess in a photo of the dog in the front seat of his car. It eventually evolved into human princesses taking TikTok by storm.
Get behind the wheel, dear princesses. We know you know how to drive. And congratulations, TikToker @masonshea. Your Prince Passenger video has garnered over 60 million views since you posted the equal treatment capture in early 2023.
Unless you’re in a K-pop band and/or you’re young, tall and thin, this trendy thang isn’t going to look good on anyone. And it returned. On the runways. In street clothes. On shopping websites and shop counters.
Why search for gorgeous ball gowns, skirts, pantsuits and tops among so many other options? Teen Vogue celebrated the embrace of Gen Z in September, describing the silhouette as a form-fitting waist and balloon-like hemline. It’s, wait for it, “feminine and romantic” and “draws attention to the body,” says the magazine.
No, from the above, in a good way. So, most of the women.
“There’s something funny about bubble hems and the way they flare around the hips,” Harper Bazaar’s Tara Gonzalez wrote in August. “They’re vaguely like diapers in that sense, so they’re not a crowd pleaser. Instead, they’re something you either get or you don’t.”
Bubble dresses, in their various iterations, are hardly a recent fad. The first to get there were Pierre Cardin, Christian Dior, Hubert de Givenchy and Yves Saint Laurent in the 1950s. Yes, they resurfaced in the 1980s and again in the 2000s.
Dare to be different!
What have we been doing during the coronavirus pandemic lockdown? We baked bread. In particular, we were crazy about sourdough because we had it at home and had time to feed snacks, cook rice, and bake loaves.
Well, some of you are still posting sourdough videos, naming your starters, selling dehydrated pieces of sourdough, spending hours lifting and folding, and debating which tools and baskets are best.
The world began anew. Keep your bread videos to yourself. Your starting bubbles. They multiply. Your dough will rise and rise again. Your little razor cuts are epic. Sourdough bread is delicious and healthy, and now we all know how to make it.
Sourdough video? There is no need. Thank you for your service.
Depending on who you are, rawdogging has different meanings. There is sex without a condom. And there is a male tendency to travel avoiding all distractions, traffic and food during long haul flights. In 2024, the last crude rose sharply.
You have hyper-male enthusiasts who want to be hyper-male. And are your travelers trying to capture some kind of mindfulness or super-focus or what? Who knows.
Listen: you paid for this ticket. Enjoy food, music and movies. Also, not drinking is just dehydration. Therefore, the blood clot should not move.
Finding your hub just by looking at the in-flight map seems pointless. Here’s to a new year without raw dogs. The same goes for people strapping on their ankles with their knees pulled up to their chins. come on It can’t be that convenient, let alone safe. Happy turbulence to you all.
Speaking of travel trends, push back against the people curating the contents of your TSA trays. For those of you who bought TSA trays to conveniently produce the contents at home. Not cute.
This potato. I mean come on! are you kidding Wow, just wow. Don’t sleep on these! Potatoes!
Where there are content creators, there is hype. There is a beautiful mountain. You have fake surprise, surprise, excitement over the most mundane things while the race for likes, shares and comments continues.
And there’s a plague of strange verbalisms that make various tasks sound like a battlefield: I “go in” with ranch clothes. I’m “going in” with this concealer. I “fry” the garlic. I will “hit” with salt!
Social media has been the talk of the town for decades. This look is such a dumb attempt to make something really boring sound viral. It spread faster than a runaway money train.
Take a breath. We will see how you make potatoes. We promise.
Chevron. Dali. A pencil. Marge.
Ever since virus lockdowns have given men the time and space to fix their faces, mustaches have grown on their own. Justin Bieber, Harry Styles, Pedro Pascal, The Weeknd, and Jacob Elordi have rocked their “beardless sideburns” on red carpets and on social media, adding to the relevance of it all.
As of September 2022, Gillette estimates that 12.5 million men in the U.S. have mustaches. This is 1.5% more than in March 2020. The facial hair care company has launched the King C. Gillette facial hair care brand.
Mustaches, with beards. Excellent. Mustaches are separate. Polarizing. Do we thank a contingent of ironic millennials who want to go back in time for this, uh, trend? What about non-ironic? Are we hinting at Miles Teller’s character in 2022’s Top Gun: Maverick?
“Teller’s mustache was a reference to Anthony Edwards’ similar mustache in the original 1986 Top Gun.” This is not 1986.
Have a good day.
Chic headrests. Cabinets to order. Interior designer. Dorm room decor is downright inappropriate for some, leaving students who can’t afford to spend thousands in the lurch.
The cost of college — tuition, fees, room and board — nearly doubled between 1992 and 2022, rising from an inflation-adjusted average of $14,441 a year to $26,903 for all types of schools, according to the National Center for Education Statistics. Dorm prices increased from $3,824 to $7,097 over the same time period.
Greetings to the haves and have-nots. We see you. And thank you TikTok for fueling the frenzy.
Karens: Airplane Karens. At Karens store. Neighbor Karens. Karens Park. Yes, we mentioned you before and here you are still here. You’ve made your day. You have lived your years. Medical means. Therapy. All that is needed.
Sanewashing: Extend the power of facts. Put an end to false equivalence. In all cases. That’s all.
Anti-aging products for young girls: the damage is done. Parents, take care.
Dr. Beat: Emergency, emergency! All you video makers walking around showing off your scrubs and jammies and your entire wardrobe. Tired of the content. Cut it out. New year. New song. New memes.
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