Have you ever felt the need to distance yourself from your loved ones or social settings when you feel overwhelmed or stressed? A coping strategy may be a response to childhood trauma. Psychotherapist Nadia Adessi took to Instagram to talk about why we feel the urge to be alone when we’re stressed or overwhelmed, and how this relates to our childhood coping strategies.
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Who do we isolate when we experience or experience stress?
Nadia posted a video on Instagram with the caption: “When my therapist tells me the reason I isolate myself when I’m overwhelmed is because I had to learn to deal with all my problems alone as a child.” In the caption, she explained why many people have such an emotional reaction.
The psychotherapist explained that sometimes the coping strategies we learned in childhood can follow us into adulthood and it can be difficult to make the connection. So if someone grew up in a family where they weren’t validated or supported during times of hardship, they may develop a sense of independence to go it alone. They may also “isolate themselves to regulate their emotions and feelings in the moment.” This is why people have a strong need to be alone when they are stressed or overwhelmed.
How is it harming you and your loved ones?
“While this is not necessarily an unhealthy coping strategy, it can become a problem when it affects our ability to relate to others as well as process our own emotions,” Nadia explained.
According to the psychotherapist, although it can be difficult to break the habit, baby steps can make it possible. “The most important thing to remember is that you are safe in this moment, in your body. When you feel comfortable, slowly start talking about your feelings with the people you love. This can include emotions of happiness, joy, excitement, etc.”
Also, sharing your thoughts can be a way to build the confidence to talk about all your emotions and let someone know that you need a moment to process before you can continue. Finally, Nadi emphasized that we humans are wired to connect and need other people. Therefore, it is important that we build connections and share our emotions with loved ones.
Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice.
