Like a photo of the employee on social media. Sending them direct messages. Check on the weak more often than before. Progressively interacts with someone over the borders of your relationship, it can be a great thing for you. For your significant other, however, it may be micro -ization that some consider the form of betrayal as it may include creating a connection in one heart.
Although pushing the boundaries of what is allowed in a relationship is not a new concept, the question has become even more common with the lifting of remote work, said William Schroeder, therapist and the owner of simple counseling in Austin, Texas.
“People have a more digital relationship, so it creates more space for this,” Schroeder said. “In this at home, it can happen even easier because it is a real low risk.”
What is microwication?
Microwave, the term, popularized by Australian psychologist Melani Shilling, may be something lacking in physical or emotional relationships if it provides behavior that you cannot talk about with a partner.
In addition to thefts in social media, it can also mean that it is delayed too long in the water cooler to talk to a colleague, to share personal data about your own relationship or dress if you know what you will see. “We have just put a new label on it,” said Abby Medkalph, a psychologist in Berkeley, California, and the presenter “Relationships made by the lungs”.
But MedCalf noted that in most of its patients, micro -microclines in recent years provides text messages or social media messages. And it can be a slippery slope.
What is a big deal?
As the norms of relations develop, and terms such as “polyoamoria”, they come out of the shadow, sympathy, sympathy or commenting on photos, may seem rather harmless. A lot of a couple do not care, Medkalph said, but people who do it should not feel bad.
“There is no right and wrong in the relationship,” she said. “It comes down to benefits.” Even if the specific action was not discussed and prohibited, problems arise when it selects energy in your main relationships, she said.
“It’s a hoax if your partner doesn’t like it or don’t know it or he doesn’t like it if they know about it,” she said. She advised to resist the desire for a snap, which is a sign that there was no trust in the relationship. “All you want to know is the way your partner relates to you?” she said. “Do you feel # 1?”
How should the couples handle it?
Schroeder said that each addiction has limits, some of which can be discussed and others that are meant. These days, the gray zone is greater than if -no. In particular, when the couple met in an application for dating, it is important to discuss whether it should be disconnected and exclusive, he said. Then determine what “exclusive” means, for example, not to meet other people, continuing the conversations through the application or pursue others on social media.
The best time to lift it is long before the problem, even if it is difficult to find out when and how, he said. He equated this conversation with the driving. “If you think you have a full gas reservoir, you’re not going to start thinking,” When should we stop to get gas? “,” he said.
Changing behavior – if, for example, your significant other, such as more secret with the phone, or checks social media more often – there may be a sign of problem, he said. But try not to be accused. Rather, mention you noticed that they are more engaged in your phone and that it is of concern to you, because you are not sure what it means.
“The availability of such curiosity is a much better place to talk,” Schroeder said. He said that microchetation occurs for many reasons, but often because people are just looking for this spark that they feel from new relationships. Some patients involved in secret behavior never cross further lines, but Schroeder said that when you do it yourself may be instructive.
In addition, this does not necessarily mean the end of the relationship. “It can be this crisis for recovery,” he said. “Sometimes, when these small examples of microchization come, it can be very useful to understand, ‘Okay, why is it for me? “
