Is your partner always negative? 8 tips from a therapist on how to cope and know when to walk away

Being with a partner who is always negative can feel like a constant emotional roller coaster. Although it is difficult, there are ways to deal with it without losing your cool. Jeff Gunter, a licensed therapist, recently shared eight ways to deal with an incredibly negative partner in an Instagram post. Let’s take a look and make some notes. (Also read: 10 reasons to give someone a chance, according to a relationship coach)

How to deal with a negative partner

First, he suggested checking out the negative things your partner is expressing so they feel understood and empathetic. Gunther acknowledged that many people have probably tried it before, but encouraged them to try again with a fresh perspective. “Maybe they keep repeating themselves because that’s all they need from you,” he explained. “Feel free to meet them where they are and be a little negative as well, just don’t stay there.” The idea is to create a space where they feel heard without being stuck in negativity.

The therapist also encouraged being “straightforward” about how your partner’s negative attitude affects you. If negativity persists, Guenther recommended creating a “negativity-free zone.” He added: “It sounds simple, but it works really well. Designate specific times and places where complaints and grievances are completely ignored.”

“Know when to walk away from chronic negativity”

Guenther also advised setting “emotional boundaries” and being clear about your ability to deal with negativity. For example, he suggested you say, “I want to support you, but I only have about 15 minutes to hear you speak.” It helps to set limits while showing care and support without letting negativity get to you.

Gunther further recommended encouraging problem solving by redirecting the partner’s focus from complaining to finding solutions. He suggested asking, “What do you think might help fix this?” Another tip was to divert the conversation by changing the subject completely. Finally, Guenther stressed the importance of not taking a partner’s negativity personally, reminding people that their mood or attitude is about themselves, not a reflection of you.

At the end of the video, Gunther advised people to “consider compatibility” with their chronically negative partner. He explained, “If their negativity is persistent and unchanging, you can question the relationship. You have the right to leave if their constant negativity is affecting you.”