It may seem strange to many of us, but sometimes wanting the “best” for our children can inadvertently lead to raising a child who struggles with selfishness. While all children exhibit selfish tendencies from time to time, consistent signs may point to deeper patterns of behavior. Identifying these behaviors early and addressing them positively is critical to developing a well-rounded, empathetic personality. Here are 5 ways to tell if your child is developing selfish tendencies, and some effective and efficient strategies to help correct them.
They refuse to share their belongings
One of the first signs of selfish behavior is a refusal to share toys, snacks, or other items. Although possessiveness is normal for young children, if it doesn’t go away as they get older, it may indicate a lack of empathy or understanding of others’ feelings.
How can this be fixed?
Learn to share by modeling it yourself. Share your time, food or resources openly and explain why sharing creates happiness for everyone. Enter activities that require sharing, such as playing board games or group art projects.
It is difficult for them to recognize other people’s feelings
Selfish children have difficulty recognizing or empathizing with other people’s emotions. For example, if a child dismisses a friend’s sadness or disappointment, this could be a red flag.
What to do?
Teach them about emotions and why it is important for them to understand the emotions of others as well. You can do this by discussing your feelings regularly. Use role-playing scenarios to help them imagine themselves in someone else’s place. Books and stories that emphasize empathy can also have a big impact.
They complain when things go wrong
If your child gets upset or throws a tantrum when he doesn’t get what he wants, it could be a sign of self-centered thinking.
What is a fix?
Help them understand the trade-off by involving them in problem solving. If they can’t get what they want right away, discuss alternative solutions or set a goal to earn it.
They are reluctant to help others
Selfishness often manifests itself in an unwillingness to help others, whether it’s helping a sibling put away their toys or helping a classmate in need.
Fix:
Engage children in acts of kindness. Volunteer with your family at a community event or organize a fundraiser. Even small acts like opening a door for someone can help them experience the joy of being helpful.
They expect special treatment
If your child expects to be treated better than others, such as always getting the biggest piece of cake or the best seat, this may indicate a sense of entitlement.
How to fix it?
Use phrases like, “Everyone deserves a turn” and avoid rewarding good behavior. Praise them for being fair or compromising in situations.
