Ghosting can seem like a silent form of heartbreak. Have you ever been talking to someone, everything was weird, and then out of nowhere… they disappear? No warnings, no explanations, just complete silence. It’s like being left hanging without any closure. Welcome to the disturbing world of ghosts, a phenomenon that has become all too common but continues to leave people feeling confused, hurt, and searching for solutions. (Also read: Snowman: The new holiday dating trend that doctors warn can lead to STIs and emotional breakdown )
“Modern dating has created a language of its own. Terms like bench, breadcrumbs, and damping have entered everyday slang. Ghosting is one such term. It refers to a sudden disappearance without explanation. Have you ever wondered why this happens? ” says Shaurya Gahlawat, a mental health therapist, in a recent Instagram post.
She added: “Whether you have been ghosted or have been ghosted, it often comes down to fear, discomfort or emotional overwhelm. Let’s delve into the psychology behind this modern phenomenon and find out what really happens when someone disappears from your life.”
Why are people ghosts?
“Most ghosts aren’t evil—they’re just avoiding discomfort. Fear of confrontation, guilt, or not knowing how to express your feelings can make ghosting an easier option,” says Shaurya. She went on to list some common reasons why people are ghosted in her post.
- It may not be about you
One of the biggest misconceptions about ghosts is that it’s personal. In reality, most ghosts aren’t evil – they’re just avoiding discomfort. Fear of confrontation, guilt, or not knowing how to express your feelings can make ghosting an easier option.
Another common reason people ghost is the fear of hurting someone’s feelings. They may feel guilty or uncomfortable with the idea of giving up on someone, so they choose to disappear instead. This avoids direct confrontation, but does not provide the clarity or closure that the other person may need.
Sometimes ghosting happens when someone is feeling emotionally overwhelmed, often due to personal issues or stress. Instead of explaining their feelings, they retreat to protect themselves from having to deal with the situation. In these cases, the ghosts have more to do with the person’s own emotional limitations than the ghost.
Let’s face it: social media and dating apps have made it easier to find ghosts. Digital separation reduces accountability, making disappearing feel like a low-risk option. With the ease of blocking or ignoring messages, it becomes tempting for people to avoid dealing with unpleasant emotions by simply disappearing.
For a ghost, it’s like avoiding conflict or embarrassment. They justify their silence with thoughts like: “That’s better” or “They’ll get the hint.” But while ghosts may feel safe for them, it’s rarely fair or kind to the person on the other end.
How to deal with ghosts?
Being a ghost is hard, but it’s important not to take it personally—it often says more about the ghost than it does about you. Resist the urge to chase closure. Instead, focus on your own dignity, talk to supportive friends, and remind yourself that whoever is your ghost is probably not capable of the kind of connection you deserve.
What to do if you feel the urge to ghost
When you feel the urge to ghost, take a moment to stop and reflect. Can you send a nice, sincere message instead? It takes courage and empathy to break the cycle of ghosting. Being open with someone can feel awkward, but it’s a step toward healthier communication—and ultimately a better connection for everyone involved.
