Why can’t people commit to a situation? An expert explains the reasons for casual dating and ways to build trust


Situations are very popular in the dating world. It refers to a type of casual relationship where two people are in a romantic relationship but avoid fully accepting or defining the relationship with definitive labels such as “girlfriend” or “boyfriend”. It is a strange limbo that is devoid of emotional attachment, promise or commitment. At first glance, it may seem like “testing the waters” or just trying, but it’s more than meets the eye.

A situational relationship is a romantic relationship without any strings attached. (Shutterstock)
A situational relationship is a romantic relationship without any strings attached. (Shutterstock)

In an interview with HT, Dr Sajila Maini, a senior consultant psychologist at Sir Ganga Ram Hospital in New Delhi, explained why people hesitate to commit.

Understanding the situation

It's all cool and fun without the pressure of promises. (Shutterstock)
It’s all cool and fun without the pressure of promises. (Shutterstock)

Dr. Maini explained more about situational relationships and said, “Situational relationships often start casually when two people are physically and emotionally close without discussing the future. It can be fun and stress-free in the early stages, as there is no expectation of a long-term commitment. Unlike traditional relationships, situational relationships often lack clear definitions or long-term intentions. However, this freedom often comes with its own set of challenges and emotional vulnerability.”

Understanding the cause of the situation

No matter how cool you try to play, every decision and choice has a well-thought-out reason. It may seem obvious that Gen Z are spontaneous and cool, which is why they seek casual connections, but there are a few more reasons that may not be immediately obvious.

Dr. Maini listed the main reasons and gave a detailed breakdown to understand the reasons behind the situation:

Fear of vulnerability and rejection

One of the main reasons for the emergence of situational relationships is fear – the fear of vulnerability, rejection or loss of independence. In a world that values ​​individual freedom and self-actualization, attachment can feel like a threat to personal autonomy.

Instant gratification and one-time hookups

Modern dating is often influenced by a culture of instant gratification and one-off hookups, which can make long-term commitment less appealing. The proliferation of dating apps that offer endless possibilities also contributes to the paradox of choice. Many people are hesitant to make a commitment, worried that they might miss out on someone better.

Past experiences and emotional defenses

People who have been hurt in a previous relationship may resist commitment to protect themselves from future pain. Fear of repeating past mistakes can lead to reluctance to fully invest in a new relationship.

Changing social norms

Societal norms have shifted, and traditional timelines for courtship, marriage, and family have given way to more flexible arrangements. This shift causes many people to navigate uncharted waters in their romantic lives.

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How to do it

Developing commitment strengthens relationships. (Shutterstock)
Developing commitment strengthens relationships. (Shutterstock)

Commitment can seem scary. But it is possible. Dr. Maini elaborates on three fundamental tips on how to build commitment:

1. Open communication

The first step is clarity. Open communication about intentions and expectations is critical to avoid misunderstandings. Defining relationships shouldn’t be intimidating; it can be as simple as discussing what each person wants and how they see the relationship progressing.

2. Trust

Trust is another cornerstone of commitment. It requires consistency, honesty and reliability. When both partners feel safe and valued, they are more likely to invest emotionally in the relationship.

3. Personal growth

Commitment starts with being willing to face your fears and insecurities. Therapy, self-reflection, or seeking advice from trusted friends can help people understand their patterns and make healthier choices.

She went on to conclude, “While the situational mode may provide temporary convenience, it often leaves people craving more. By embracing vulnerability and cultivating trust, people can move beyond uncertainty and create relationships that stand the test of time.”

Situations can seem like a light-hearted way to avoid commitment and hide deeper issues lurking beneath the surface. As Dr. Maini said about personal growth and facing insecurities, introspection and introspection is very important.

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always consult your doctor for any health concerns.

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